It is the third day of the first month of the year 2020 as I begin the writing of this post. If, for some reason you did not know that…now you do! It’s also part of the last few days of my holiday break before returning to class. In the post prior to this one, I discussed the concept of time a lot and how it can be a scarce resource and how it plays into the economy…sorry, I really enjoyed my economics classes in my first year of college. Alright, that post did discuss how time is a scarce commodity for me and it also talked about a bunch of the stuff I did in that year. This post will, in a way, continue that discussion plus serve as my outlet for whatever else comes to mind. Truthfully speaking, not a whole lot has happened since my last post in October. I managed to finish my last class for the year, which also means I finished my first year of college. So then let me begin there…
As I mentioned in my last post, my last course for the year was an elective in the form of Juvenile Justice. As with all of my classes so far, I was anxious to get into it and see what new stuff I would learn from it and how it would apply in a business field. Two weeks into the class I was slightly frustrated with the fact of having to read multiple U.S. Supreme Court rulings and the dissents and opinions of the presiding Justices within a week. However, I did eventually end up enjoying the class because I ultimately learned a lot of things from it. I do not know exactly how what I learned will apply in the business world other than having an understanding of how part of our justice system works in general. Near the end of the class I did my usual reflection upon what I have learned and it really got me to thinking about several things. First being that, in my opinion our juvenile justice system has its own issues that need addressed much like the full fledged adult system. We should not be threatening children with jail time for skipping out on school nor should we be imprisoning them for petty theft. While we cannot give them a finger wag and say “That was wrong, don’t do it again.” we should not resort to criminalizing them for every wrongdoing they commit.
When the juvenile court system was established 121 years ago, its main focus was that of rehabilitating youth who committed crimes in society. From what I learned in my research during that class, we have strayed far away from that goal and our juvenile system treats youth rather similarly to adults. I do not think that people who commit murders that are legally considered youths should be placed on a year’s probation and everything is ok afterwards, but for lesser offenses like I mentioned above we do not need to give them a criminal record because they stayed out past curfew. Of course, those examples are both extremes but the point I am trying to make still stands: our juvenile justice system needs reform in certain areas for it to better suit its purpose. Now, as I’ve learned a lot over the past several days, I do not have the answers all the answers and how reform should be handled is no different. Needless to say, I enjoyed the class in the long run. It provided some valuable insight into a portion of the United States’ criminal justice system and one that deals with our literal future.
It is now almost one hour into the fourth day of January, 2020 (yep, still hasn’t changed) and I’d like for you to take a look back at my post entitled…well, “A Look Back At…“. That was my post from the end of 2018 where I partially bragged about all the cool stuff I did that year and was going to do and the one thing I did not get to do. For the most part, things have remained somewhat the same since I published that post…which could be a good thing or not, I’m not entirely sure. I’ve gotten more active in the SCA and obviously I’m still attending college, so nothing bad has happened. Anyways, I’d like to specifically point out the last paragraph in that post where I talk about something perhaps a little too personal for a public domain such as this. That friend whom I mentioned in that post (and made quasi-vague references to in many others) was back in town recently for her holiday break and upon finding that out, I asked if she wanted to meet up somewhere and catch up for a bit. She agreed to meet up for a bit one afternoon and we talked for a few hours and caught up. After all of that and discovering that the place we were at was getting ready to close, I decided to do something that I honestly never thought I’d be able to do. I finally told her how I have actually felt about her. Which, to my surprise but also not really at the same time, she told me she had already known for about two years. So I guess my assumption of my subtlety giving things away was correct, let the record show this is the only time I have assumed something and it has turned out correct. Going into that day, I had the intention of telling her at some point but it was mostly going to depend on if I carried the courage and confidence through the entire afternoon. There were a few times in years prior where I had wanted to tell her, but I would always chicken out at the last second…which maybe that was one of the points in which she figured it out, I have no idea.
I’m honestly not sure what the future holds for both of us. Whatever happens, I hope for the best either way. I said what I wanted to and I stand behind what I said, I know that much. I am honestly proud of finally saying what I did, it feels good and I am relieved that I didn’t seemingly scare away a long-time friend either. Because of the way I have been treated by “friends” in the past, it takes me a long time to truly open up to people and I really value those friends of mine who make an effort to keep in touch with me. I have found that the adage of, “Trust is hard to earn, but easy to lose.” is so very true.
The future is the best at hiding all that is unknown.
One last thing I’d like to throw out there is a song that has been stuck with me for a while. I love music, it’s great for expressing how one feels and honestly, there are many songs from bands and artists I listen to that express my beliefs a lot better than I can. A prime example of that is Skillet’s “My Religion“, a song that says it’s ok to have your faith yet express it in ways that many consider non-traditional. Which, funnily enough, is something I’ve been thinking of a lot lately. Anyways, back to what I was saying. The band Nothing More was one I heard originally on SiriusXM’s Octane a few years back and I really did not care much for them at that time. In hindsight (great…thought I was going to make it through this post without using that word…) the reason for that was because they were overplayed a lot on Octane at the time. However a few months ago I got to see them in concert and there was really only one song I had hoped to hear them play. I knew they would because it was gaining popularity for them on the radio at that time, but that song is called “Fade In / Fade Out“. The biggest reason I like this song is it is one of those that expresses emotion in a better way than I can.
The deeper meaning of the song for me is it also is a somewhat good representation of the relationship between my father and I. However, I will note that it does exclude the whole falling out part between the father and son (that is at least showcased in the video) as that hasn’t happened and I doubt it will. Anyways, if you actually pay attention to the lyrics in the song a lot of the stuff that is said in it has been stuff I have been told by my father. So, here’s the video for the song:
Ok, I do believe that is all I had. 2019 was an interesting year, I accomplished a lot after a rough start to it and some of what I did even surprised me for numerous reasons. The closing portion of it was really amazing and it has me feeling hopeful about this year. If I were to be asked about goals, I really don’t know what they would be at this point. I haven’t thought that far ahead honestly. Oh, and in case you are wondering we are now less than an hour away from the fifth day of January, 2020.
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